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A Monday Happiness Talk

After the beautiful, unyielding, and open energy of the Fullest Moon this past weekend, I feel very inclined to share something with you.

A theme that has been ever present, is the theme for me of learning through experience, and learning lessons.

I’ve spoken in the past about how when we learn our lessons, these challenging situations that keep presenting themselves to us change.

 

This does not mean that they stop happening.

 

On our journey, the terrifyingly exciting thing is that we are uncertain. We have no idea and yet so many ideas as to where life is taking us. The certainty lays within uncertainty. An oxy-moron, of course, but a beautiful one. These hardships we face, they are meant to allow us to crumble. To fall, to shrink. But they are also meant to teach us to rise out of that. To build, to learn and to heal.

The reason for that, friends, is that when we are presented with these things we MUST learn from them. We must seek out how we truly feel within the depths of our very core, and then we must train. It is not a simple task, but it is an important one.

Speaking to a friend about this, basking in the energy of the moon last night, I felt tremendous surges of energy when thinking about it.

We go through emotional phases. One moment we may not feel energized or happy. It is our task to take mindful action to pick up our emotion and to feel more energized. To become more joyful.

When we do this, it may take a few moments, minutes, or even hours. And that is okay, because what I am speaking about in terms of our lessons is that we learn. We TRAIN. For the next time these emotions are presented to us, we’ll know a little bit more about what to do, and how to grow from it. We’ll be a little more confident in picking ourselves up from it. It won’t seem as daunting, or as clueless.

 

Essentially, we are reclaiming control and power over our lives.

 

It is like the practice of Yoga. Each day I turn to my mat. Each day on my mat I face different experiences and struggle. If one day I feel intense emotion come up during my practice, it may overwhelm me. But through my devotion and practice, the fact that each day I practise, I know what to do to RISE up out of it. Therefore, the next time I do that same posture that ignited that discomfort, quicker I will know what to do.

 

And that is what true mindfulness is.

 

It is not about taking ourselves out of situations that will cause us discomfort, but more about going through these situations willingly, and finding our stillness through it.

A wonderful quote I once heard that reminds me of this was by Ram Dass: “If you think you are so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.”

Wow. It makes me laugh. It really is lighthearted. I think we take things too seriously at times, but it’s so true. Even after my Yoga practice and Meditation, I find myself going through waves of being agitated or frustrated with my parents. It is natural.

The goal, I think, is to learn these lessons so that next time your mom, for example, does something that annoys you, it annoys you for less time. You can break the barrier of pride and agitation and find love more simply. With more ease. Forgive yourself and forgive her.

 

Isn’t that a wonderful goal? Isn’t it what we all want? Finding ease and flow, more love and peace in life?

 

So a wonderful, mindful happiness TIP I have for you, is again simpler than it sounds.

When you find yourself in states of unhappiness, acknowledge them, because pretending they are non-existent does not help in rising up out of them. However, wallowing in them? I think that’s an excuse, and I think you deserve better than that… and I think that it feels so uncomfortable because deep down, you absolutely know that you deserve better than that.

Gratitude is the tip and the end goal. If you are unhappy and are going on a walk unhappy, thinking of your pain and unhappiness…. No, I don’t think you will notice the bird or the breeze that comes by. But if you consciously allow yourself to notice the bird, and notice the breeze. If you consciously allow yourself to feel the Earth beneath your feet, take your shoes off and feel the grass, feel the Sun illuminating your being, hear the birds and people and children around you. Even hearing the cars, the life that is happening forever around you. If you take the time and work within the mind to notice these things, and then to recognize how incredible they are?

That isn’t just mindfulness, it’s Gratitude. My favourite word.

And then if you do that, how can you possibly be as unhappy as you were before?

You may still be a little unhappy, but you probably would have experienced many more moments of solace. So next time you go on that walk, you’ll find those moments of solace more plentifully and quickly, even if you’re more unhappy. And then the third time you’ll go for that walk, it’ll be more abundant. 

But it takes REAL work. It’s gotta be a devotion. You must know that you want to be happier and you must allow it. We must commit to whatever practice is that allows us to be mindful and grateful, and then we may see the happiness that unfolds.

I hope this resonates with you! If you have any further questions, feel free to let me know and we can have a chat about them. I would absolutely love it.

Have an incredible beginning to your work. Remember, it is in your hands and reclaiming your Power is an INCREDIBLE feeling.

 

I believe in you.

 

Namaste Friends, Happy training.

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Relationship Series: Giving Ourselves Space in Crisis Mode

We as humans say ridiculous things to ourselves. We allow things small and insignificant to designate homes within us. We allow them in, and we do not even ask them to take off their shoes at the front door. They walk in, they make a mess, and they rudely invade our space until we all have no idea how to get rid of them. The interesting part though, is that we let them in to begin with. We forget that the true solution lies within prevention. It may be an extra lock on the door, an alarm system, assertion even: our ability to say no and to implement boundaries.

What I am truly discussing, is our ability to hold on to thoughts to the high degree that the thoughts seem as if they have our control. We crumble beneath the weight of what we think at times. We crumble with anxiety, dread, sadness or regret. Sometimes we crumble with anger or frustration. This happens more often than we think. Our home alarm system is ultimately our coping mechanism. How do we cope in the face of discomfort? In order to learn this about ourselves, we need to truly begin to understand how our thoughts make their mark on our physical, emotional reactions.

Reflect on this with me for a moment. When something has upset you or worried you in the past, have you been able to melt it away after a moment, allow it to fester elsewhere? Or has it remained on your mind for minutes, hours, days even? When you needed to confront a big decision or obstacle, how often did you attempt to plan it, think of it, organize it in your mind’s eye before you even arrived at it? Better yet, how many times did it already begin to eat away at you- in the form of uncomfortable emotion, before you even physically saw the obstacle itself? Also, when you did something that you were embarrassed about, did you think about it before bed that night? Did you think about it the day after? What happened after you thought about it? Did you feel uncomfortable? Nervous? Ashamed? Did the pit in your stomach drop? Our feelings are incredibly linked to our mind. These feelings are manifested in physical symptoms… stress, and unfortunately also manifested in our sicknesses and disease.

 

This is our thought. Our perspective. Our mindset. The single, most powerful thing that we have.

 

Taking the time to observe is the first step in learning about our minds impact on us. Noticing how you feel when certain events occur, and pinpointing how different events make you feel differently. Then taking the time to not only make a mental note but to communicate it, either to a friend or via paper in a journal. IE: I could write, “My mother made a comment to me that upset me. I immediately felt irritated and annoyed. I continued to think about how annoyed her comment made me, and it made me feel more annoyed. The feeling grew until we snapped at each other again and had an argument.” The growth of frustration here could have easily been prevented had I taken a moment to just pause and observe myself.

The observation of self contains two principles: One of them being the state of non-judgement. While in a moment of “crisis” or high intensity emotion, judging the emotion will only cause the emotion to build and the discomfort to grow. The second principle is the principle of patience. One can not assume that just by observing the situation and emotion that peace comes automatically. Like any field, self-growth and mastery of the mind takes time and work. In knowing this beforehand, we can find it in ourselves to step back and give us the patience and compassion necessary to tackle this life-long task.

So begin to learn your tendencies. Learn how when your partner does certain things, you feel a certain way. Learn how it has nothing to do with your partner but everything to do with your own state of self, state of being and your own perspective. (Abuse of course, is another story and should be taken absolutely seriously- but I shall save that for another post.)

Now to ensure keeping your home private and clean, we will begin to look at our coping mechanisms and how they can aid us in setting boundaries. This occurs after our thoughts have already started. They haven’t yet built a home, but like in my previous example, they have manifested into physical emotional symptoms. This is also a lesson in self-observation. It is now centred around noticing how you cope after the climax of these emotions has occurred. Do you immediately eat something? Do you go for a run? Do you sit and breathe? Do you journal? Do you ignore it and continue on with your daily tasks? Do you call a friend? How do you cope with your emotions?

It’s interesting because many of us don’t even know the answer to that question because we don’t take the time to learn about it. I’ll use a personal example again, just to paint a clearer picture. Oftentimes when I feel anxiety or worry I will reach the peak of my emotion and then my tendency is to grab a snack. Food has been a coping mechanism of mine for years. I’m aware of it, it’s cool, that’s how I learn to differentiate between whether I’m actually hungry or if I’m trying to suppress something, calm myself.

This is important to know because although coping mechanisms allow us to cope, some bury our feelings deeper, and then our barriers and boundaries are less strong. Our walls are down for a moment, we’ve left the front door unlocked, and that is when those thoughts and emotions and stroll in unannounced with a suitcase. When we bury or suppress our feeling, we just give it opportunity to come back… to come back… to come back… and then bam! We are overwhelmed by it. It’s grown to disproportionate size. It’s grown tenfold. How? We allowed it to because we buried it and fed it, gave it a couch to sleep on and even a blanket.

 

So that step has been taken care of. We are aware of our coping mechanisms.

 

The next step in this emotional crisis, is to consciously (as we are aware of our habits) make the choice to observe the emotion, breathe and just learn from it. Patiently not judging it. Instead of reaching for a snack or going for a run, let us address these feelings, talk them out or write them out, and then seriously consider whether you are hungry. And then go for your run. And it will be all the more productive because instead of pushing something away you are inviting it in for healing. And you’ll know what to do. You’ll know that when you sit with your feeling even for 2 minutes, breathing, not-judging, that when you go for that run you are really giving yourself the space to heal and not harm. To keep your house tidy and beautiful. You’ll know this because you will set an intention. You will go for a run for the purpose of freeing the stagnant energy and allowing yourself to be liberated from the emotion- learning what you needed to, and then doing what you need to to improve your quality of life. Choosing to cope with healthy things is important. You know what your healthier options are, and you know what will truly help you vs. hurt you.

And now that takes me to my final point. Why did I include giving ourselves space in this blog post? Well simply, we need to give ourselves the space and time to learn ourselves, to heal ourselves and to become our best selves. There will be moments where we need to take a step back and not do what we instinctively want to do. By pausing and reflecting, we won’t always just react in the face of adversity. We won’t always just immediately yell back at someone’s comment. We won’t always feel the need to type out a hasty and “sassy” text message right away. Those climaxes are harmful not only to ourselves but to the people around us. If we can control our immediate responses by being able to master the observation of self then we are one step ahead.

So ultimately yes, this is going to definitely allow us to improve all of our relationships; however, most importantly, it will allow us to improve our relationship with ourself. It will allow ourselves to give ourselves the space we need to just finally feel better! And I can guarantee that is what we all need and deeply desire, even if we don’t admit it. Feeling peaceful, happy and joyful is beautiful and important. Feeling the lows is equally as important because it teaches us how to feel the joy. The discomfort will not ever end, the journey does not ever end, but our ability to cope with it, learn from it and grow from it always does… and in the end, joy and peace is always more accessible.

So there we have it friends. Naturally, I want to continue writing more and more and more about this because I have a lot to share. I will save that for some more posts and info sessions! I thank you for reading up to here and I wish you all the best in the task of learning yourself. It’s a beautiful journey, and although it can be intimidating, it is the most rewarding and beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. I want you to experience it too.

 

As always, if you have any questions or comments, please let me know. I am always open to a yoga session, meditation, chat… you name it!

 

Namaste friends, Happy Feeling.

 

Redundant & how spiritual growth/self evolution is redundant itself.

Dear Divine Self Series #4: Inner Child Chats

(Like other Divine Self posts, you can read this to yourself aloud or quietly with your mind’s eye… and you can even change some parts to be more suited to you. Let this be a tale of love for you. Let this speak to you. The affirmations presented at the end of each Divine Self post have a powerful impact when recited. Enjoy xx)

 

Dear Divine Self,

 

You captivate me. When I look at you through the mirror in the morning, when I see your toes in the shower. When I look down at your hands through your movement… on a run, or a walk, through your yoga practice. I am enticed. My attention is caught. I want to give you all of it. You deserve nothing less than my full focus.

 

But times I notice that your focus, our focus, lays throughout. In the people walking, in the thoughts crawling, in the feelings bumbling. Sometimes it’s challenging for us to have private time together, where there is just you and I and nothing else. Divine Self, I miss you. I miss the moments we spent together. You as a child, and Me experiencing wonder through you. Your curiosity kept you present. Your action kept you present. When you wanted to leap, you leapt! Angel, you leapt miles. When you wanted a friend, you would find one… When you wanted food, you would eat some. When you didn’t want anymore to eat, you would leave bits and pieces of your half eaten food all over your kitchen where your parents would lovingly clean up after you. Times have changed. Indeed, now you may finish your food and tidy up after yourself, but there is less time we have. There is more everything else. More sirens and speakers and less quiet and solitude. For in the moments where we find ourselves in solitude, Divine Self, we are distracted. Worried. Bruised and broken but never surfacing it. Thinking and thinking and thinking. Planning and moving and planning and prioritizing and thinking.  We are distracted. By the devices we own, constantly notifying us of what more we must do, or what people we are not with. We are bombarded with feelings that we cannot communicate with another, but because we haven’t communicated together Love, sometimes it feels forced.

 

As a child, we cried. We crrriiiieeeedd and screamed and shouted when we felt discomfort. My Love, we sang and giggled until our stomachs hurt each time we could as well. It was extreme. It was always overwhelming, but it was present and it was beautiful. I watched as you did the things you loved and you did not think twice as to whether or not you should be doing them. No, Beauty, I watched as you became a secretary with a broken laptop, a veterinarian with your stuffed animals, and a script writer with your little cousins. I watched as you sang karaoke as if on stage in your basement, and danced to pop music just the same.

 

The point of this, Amour, is that you were so alive you didn’t even need to contemplate it. You did not need to think of the if’s and the why’s and the should’s. You did not think your time was running out because you were simply enjoying it. You did not think you had ruined everything because you were present in the moment you were in. You were a family member, a friend, and a human all the same as you are now.

How incredible of a sight it’s been to watch you grow. To watch you learn and write essays and sing to others the stories of your reality. I feel a glow in my heart and soul just thinking about it. I unabashedly will sing out my story of love to you! Dear Divine Self, you are WHOLE! You are still the beautiful, present young child you once were. You must only harness that energy more! Embrace it as a daily part of your rituals and habits.

 

Why?! Divine Self! Well, the reason why is simple. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Life is meant to be grabbed, held and ridden with wind blowing your through your hair and freedom oozing from your energy. From your spirit! Life is at your fingertips. You have all that you need to take the things that set your passion alight and to create them for yourself, right now, as you are. I encourage you, Love, to do these things with a fervour so bright and powerful that the glow through your eyes comes back. That your skin and hair and nails and teeth shine with delight and radiance. If there is something your heart has been calling for in your life, no matter how big or small, Divine Self, incorporate it. Find a will. Find a way. Innovate your routine. Escape your routine. Create a new routine.

 

When you do this, Divine Self, I know you will be here again with me. I know we will find our quiet time once more. I know those thoughts and worries… they will slow. They will stir from time and time, and that is to be expected, but you will prevail. You will shine. Ah, the excitement of this brings me such joy. I am grateful to have watched you grow Self, and I know that embracing the child you once were, that you still are… will do nothing besides allow you to grow and blossom greater… bigger… happier… more alive.

 

Alive and beaming.

 

I love you Self!

 

AFFIRMATIONS

I look forward to a rich and fulfilling life.

Today is the best day of my life.

I am proud of myself and all that you am.

I love being happy and excited about the things that I do.

I am passionate about things that make me feel good.

I know what is truly good for myself and my soul, and so I do it.

The child in me and I are one.

I am perfect, whole and complete, just as I am.

I am radiantly beautiful and vibrationally healthy and Joyously alive

I celebrate each life each day.

I am grateful for the life that I live each day.

I make the most out of each of my days by doing things that I love, and by working on myself.

I take time to be alone with myself.

I appreciate the time spent with myself to find stillness, quiet and peace.

Being with myself allows me to tune in to my heart space, and feel self-love.

I love myself just as I am!

I choose to follow my dreams and excitements.

I choose to be excited about my life.

I embrace myself and my life just as it is, and I welcome new opportunities of growth.

I am open to receiving healing and love from the universe and from myself.

I plan my days and lifestyle accordingly, so that I can fit in time to do the things that I love.

I respect myself by listening to my intuition and gut-instincts.

 

Enjoy friends! Have an incredible week!

 

Lessons My Car Accident Taught Me

It was really scary.

I didn’t quite understand how scary a “worse” car accident could be until I was in one myself. I’ve been rear ended before, I’ve done some damage to my car… but this time was quite different.

I was hit by someone travelling at least 100km an hour as I was attempting a left turn. Luckily I was hit at the rear end of my car as opposed to the middle. They labelled my car as a write-off on the scene and I had a hard time finding grounding through my panic and crying. The impact I felt in my car has repeated in my mind many times. Turning left now, I feel myself get a little nervous. It was scary. It was shattering! And it definitely left me feeling unbalanced.

But I had two guardian angels with me! Two men named Greg and Doug, old and blue eyed watched the incident occur. They were there, parked and ready to help before I had even gotten out of my car. In fact, they helped me out of my car. They held my hands as I shook and helped me breathe, they sat with me as I called my parents, they even conducted traffic to prevent another collision. They made sure that I was safe and okay.

When my mother came to the scene, she immediately began to tell me that everything is okay. That the car is just a car and that she was glad I was safe. She understood my anxiety and panic because she herself has experienced a car accident. She comforted me as I was being hard on myself. She comforted me as I cried.

That night, I laid in bed for a while. An old friend of mine called with her sympathies and understanding and I listened to music. I began to feel much more at peace. Sore and head achy, but comfortable in my blankets.

Later, my boyfriend came over with some of my favourite things, ready to be the supportive, loving teammate that he is to me. That day with just a few words and such ease, he helped me catch my breath and find perspective. He held me, listened to me, laughed with me and ate with me. As I was replaying what happened in my mind over and over before bed, he was there holding me and it made me feel so incredibly safe.

The next morning I woke up and felt incredibly sore. I looked in the mirror and my eyes were so puffy, as if I hadn’t gotten any sleep at all. I cried when I’d think about what happened. But I took a long shower, had breakfast with not only my boyfriend but his niece, and was offered comforting and love from family members. I received it gratefully, happy to be in such a warm environment.

I felt better, but still a bit uneasy. Daniel and I were on our way to a yoga studio. He was about to teach a yoga class for the first time- super proud of him, by the way, and I was ready to lay in the hot room in savasana for an hour to calm down the muscles in my back. What happened though was different. I went into the room and I found my way into my body and into my practice- a place I so deeply love to be. I did the entire practice, taking the rests when I needed to, but feeling strong because I knew that that was what I was choosing. I was focused and breathing.

I finished the class and I felt grounded. I felt like myself again. I felt focused and ready in my real-time life and not just on the mat. More moments of gratitude.

Life continued, and I’ve continuously just been feeling better, stronger and happier. I wanted to share why I think I feel better. I wanted to share what I’ve done or felt or thought that has helped me through this.

Gratitude. It is such a simple word but it is one of the most powerful words I can think of and that’s why I use it so often. I am BLESSED. In every way! I am blessed that I came out of that car accident walking, that I did not need to be taken to a hospital. I am grateful that I had guardian angels there to help me, friends to call me and lend me a shoulder, a partner who I love dearly who has supported me through this like no one else. I have parents who are thankful I am okay and who are doing everything they can to help me through this situation emotionally, physically and financially… I have food that I have eaten that has comforted me, a whole lot of tea that I have drank, hot showers and baths that have made my back feel more relaxed, yoga teachers that have guided me through empowering and confidence boosting asana practices and breathing. I have a breath that reminds me how beautiful it is to be alive, I have clothing that makes me feel good on a body that is healthy and happy. I am driving a rental car that is adorable and perfectly suited to me. I have dreams and visions of my future that I am excited for, and here to experience. There is so much! I could keep writing this list for pages and pages.

The reason this gratitude is so important in these times is because it allows us to find the silver linings through all of it. It allows us to find something that we can hold onto. A faith, a light, a love. Whatever it is, there will always be something that you can find solace in.

All of these tough things that happen in our lives, they are not setbacks. I can thank my perspective and mindset for how I’ve recovered from this because of that. I know there is an important lesson in all of them and that is always what I intend, or try my best, to acknowledge. Why? The universe presents us with these challenging situations not to push us down, but to allow us to teach ourselves how to stand up. These lessons will keep coming our way until we have learned them. That is why so often we have the same patterns of situations coming up. The same uncomfortable relationship situation happening every time you have a new partner, or the same scary car situation with tickets and accidents that keeps coming. It may not have anything to do with the actual situation, and a whole lot more to do with your mindset and perspective. So start paying some real attention to it. Standing back up again after? It’s hella empowering.

If I take the time to learn this lesson wholly and fully, this won’t happen again. So next time I am in my car, I won’t rush from point A to point B. I won’t be anticipating what time I get home to move on to the next thing, because I’ll be enjoying the drive and focused on the drive. And this extends to my everyday life routine as well. AKA, seeing where it is hidden in my mindset or perspective. When I am showering, eating, getting dressed, saying goodbye, saying hello, preparing food, doing work, doing a yoga pose, breathing, doing meditation… etc, I will not rush through it. I have the tendency to want to rush. I, Emily Marques, have the tendency to be impatient. I am ready and now willing to put the work in to learn true patience.  I will value each moment with the respect that it deserves.

Another thing I will take from this is that life sometimes simply comes down to confidence of self and self love. I love myself and I will now CHOOSE to be confident in what I say and do, and in how I feel. I will CHOOSE to learn these lessons with grace. I will choose my words carefully and lovingly, and I will do everything I can to tell myself each and every single day how incredible, powerful, confident and beautiful I really am, so that I am incredibly ready to take on these lessons and challenges presented to me each day. When we experience something so earth-shattering, it is easy to fall into the habit of negative self-talk or negative life-talk in general. When we doubt ourselves, the things we are doing or where we are in life… we really need to re-evaluate how we speak to ourselves through our mind’s eye when nobody is with us. Better yet, we need to observe how we’re speaking to ourselves when we are with others. The power of choice comes down to whether or not you want to learn the lessons. Whether or not you want to take a step back and take some responsibility for how you feel. I totally understand why that’s intimidating. Taking responsibility for how we feel puts our feelings on the spot light and makes us really see what we’re doing that makes us feel that way. It seems easier to put blame on other things… The challenges in our life, our family members, our friends… But all of these things have nothing to do with it. The crazy challenges?! They will ALWAYS be there! They will always be present. We will always have moments of fear and moments of hardship. It is not about the universe not presenting them anymore. It is not about being perfect so that these things do not happen. It is about how you react to them. It is about what you do and what you say in the face of these demons. Be honest and real with yourself, it’ll only help heal.

So yeah… All in all, I’m happier than ever. I am excited to continue on the path that I am on. I am certain in my depths that this accident was a sign to me of my strength and growth. Why? Because of the way I’ve risen up from it. I’m stoked about life, it’s a pretty amazing thing. All of those scary things happened, but more beautiful things have come out of it. Closer love and more growth. All the things that I love.

I challenge you to rise up when you are faced with some darkness, some intensity or some sadness. I challenge you to stand up instead of keep yourself down. I challenge you to learn yourself as deeply as you can. Learn why you feel things, learn how to truly comfort yourself, learn how to truly love yourself. To learn is to feel these depths. To learn is to experience these discomforts.

And if you are dealing with anything that seems like a little too much, and don’t know how to just change your mindset or perspective- I totally get you. It takes time, a whole lot of tears, a whole lot of feeling like you’ve failed and a whole lot of work. But it also gives happiness, moments of joy, deep growth and attracting better and brighter things into your life. It is beautiful. Beautifully terrifying. Let us be excited about diving into this uncertainty. Let us be ready for change, shift, transformation, growth… Blossoming!

Be grateful. For your healthy body, reading this! For your computer. For your ability to get out of bed to make breakfast. For the hug you got at work yesterday. For the smile someone gave you on the bus. For the trees you saw on your walk. Be grateful for the life you have in every moment and be grateful for the lessons, constantly shifting your world and mind each day.

 

(if you’d like a friend, a meditation session or a yoga class let me know.)

 

Thank you all for reading. Namaste Friends, happy experiencing.

From Worrier to Warrior and Manifesting your DREAMS!

From a young age we are taught about the things that we need to be cautious about. We are told that we need to get perfect grades, look respectable in public, be careful with our money, save for university, find a suitable partner, get a job with a decent salary, eat the perfect healthy foods, workout the right amount… and the list goes on and on. Basically, deep in our psyche lays the constant overwhelming burden of worry. We have been assured that without security within these things we will struggle. We deep down think that if we do not have the security of these things we couldn’t possibly be happy, satisfied, or secure. We wouldn’t have food to eat or a home to live in or a family or a life. I am here to tell you that the constant burden of worrying is not helping you along your journey. I am about to talk to you about how you can attain all of these things, all of the security you need, without the damaging effects of stress.

Let’s start off with talk of the Law of Attraction. Everyone’s heard of it in some way. We’ve heard quotes like, “you get what you give,” or “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” These things could not be more true. We’ve heard of the book “The Secret,” and we’ve probably thought about what this means to us. So…  I’m not going to sugar coat this. I’m just going to get right at it. The Universe doesn’t care what you say you want if your thoughts and vibrations do not match with what you are asking for.

Let me put it into other words. The Universe feels. It does not think. You can think you need more money, but if you think you need more money because you feel like you don’t have enough of it, your vibration is one of lack. You are worried. You feel like you desperately need more because you are worried of what will happen if you don’t acquire it. Therefore, even if you say you want more money, your vibration resonates at a frequency of lacking. Of poorness.  What I’m saying is that if you want more money, you’ve gotta act, feel, and become from the inside-out, somebody with money. I know it’s really difficult to feel abundant when you have as you think and feel, a million reasons not to. So to start, you’ve gotta really begin to pretend and act like someone with money. Don’t just wish for what you want, BECOME it. Don’t just ask for it, start to feel it within. What would make it easier to feel abundant? Acknowledging how abundant you are for the little things is a good start. Eating your breakfast with an attitude of gratitude, knowing that you are rich enough to sleep in a bed, to read this on a laptop. Waking up in the morning and doing things that make you feel not just abundant, but what you associate with richness! If wearing perfume or some beautiful jewellery helps you feel more “Rich,” then do it! Pamper yourself. You don’t need to buy a whole new wardrobe, you’ve just got to remember that you’re already rocking the one you have.

Little steps every day towards your goals and towards feeling your goals truly will begin to help change your perspective into actually feeling abundant. You can only worry so many times about something before the worry grows into a mentality. Your mentality could be a mentality of financial insecurity; therefore you will never be truly financially secure. Your mentality could be one of loneliness; therefore you will never truly find love. Your mentality could be one of ill-health, thinking you are always getting sick; and you will never truly be healthy.

The other day someone mentioned to me that we don’t even know what 80% of our brains are capable of. This is what I think of now. I think of how we can’t even begin to comprehend the POWER we possess. We can’t even deny it. I dare you, TRY IT. For a week, every single day write down and envision everything that you want and need. Feel how it would feel for those things to already be present in your life. Carry that feeling with you. That excitement, that passion. When opportunities come your way that will help you to grasp at these visions and dreams in real-time, take them! Be inspired to step into your power each moment that you can. Come from this vibration of POWER and of abundance. Treat yourself like you are abundant and most importantly, PAY ATTENTION. Pay attention to the opportunities, synchronicities and experiences that come your way. They are not coincidence, they are divine manifestations and much be treated as such. Do this for a week and you will begin to see your power.

So what does this have to do with worrying? Exactly what I said. If you worry, you feel like you lack something. If you are worried about school, you feel like you lack the time to do your assignments or the knowledge to do them well. If somewhere inside of yourself you believe these things, how will you excel? Better yet, how will you excel without excessive sweat, increasing heart beats, pits in your stomach, unrestful sleep and way too much caffeine? (AKA STRESS)  You’ve gotta believe it. You’ve gotta be it. You’ve gotta KNOW that it’s exactly what you want, not what someone else wants for you. It’s gotta be for you. And when it is for you and when you are confident that life will go the way you need it do, the universe will be like, “oh, did you need this? Here it is!” But that’s not all, you need to put in the work. You need to set those goals, visualize your dreams (visualizing is tres important, please do it) and work towards them each and every single day. When things go wrong, which they will, you’ve got to be ready to pick yourself up and continue to find inspiration to move along. Don’t just ask the Universe for these things you want, but ask yourself. Find it in yourself to do all of these things you want because you deserve nothing less! You do not deserve to settle. You deserve to stand right atop of all of your dreams and goals. To continue climbing up and doing what makes you feel the most alive. You are worth that, 100%. 

The Universe, she feels. She breathes. She is energy, like all of us… In better words, we are the universe. But the universe doesn’t speak english, she speaks vibes. Your vibes have gotta be VIBIN! They’ve gotta be vibrations of intention and GRATITUDE. This all starts with writing each and every day why you’re grateful and accepting all that you are, right now. It begins with knowing what you’re worth and knowing what you’re truly capable of. Now is no longer a time of self-limiting mindsets, now is the time of seeing what you want and need and going straight at it. Setting doubt and fear aside to be as firey & excited as possible.

 

Here’s what MY gratitude list looks like (emphasis on *my* because yours may look completely different):

 

Things I am grateful for today:

-A best friend to wake up next to, to start my day with positivity and support for each other.

-An abundance of healthy food to nourish my mind, body and soul.

-The ability to move my body to increase my strength, relaxation and energy flow.

-Breathing! I’m so lucky to be able to feel how nice it is to breathe deep.

-Yoga. Yoga helps me tune out of my head and into my heart, therefore helping me align with my greatest path and act out of a place of love.

-A family that tests my patience and never ceases to teach me something about myself. Also, a family that shows me love in all of their special ways.

-Being a human who has a bed to sleep in at night and a place to shower in the morning. These things are often taken for granted, but I know that they add to my abundance.

-The ability to type out blog entries and personal posts, in order to help inspire others including myself.

-Fresh air outside! Feeling sun-rays through my window and feeling more alive than ever! Waking up my body to the Earth!

-A body that walks and runs and plays and jumps and kisses and hugs and cozies up in blankets.

-Blankets. So grateful for blankets.

-Nourishing food that energizes me for a day full of awesome work.

-Song writing & exploring my creativity in a way that is true to me and my self expression.

And the list goes on and on, but you get the idea.

 

I can’t stress enough, however, that the key to this isn’t to be “perfect” or to feel “perfectly” at all times. We are humans. We will still worry at times and we will still feel crappy some days. It happens. It is our responsibility, though, to transmute our thoughts. To alchemize them into optimistic guidances! I am so guilty of pessimistic thinking- surprising right?! So these activities aren’t always the easiest for me, but every day working through them makes it easier AND makes me a happier and healthier person. It’s a win-win, really. Even when you are feeling “eh” take out some paper to write or talk to a loved one. The topic? What you are grateful for (what you have) and what you want. By deciphering these things you will acknowledge where your energy needs to go. Want to acquire an awesome car? Act like you’re abundant! Act like you already own that awesome car. Get excited for it. Save worrying about getting it for another lifetime. Guys, this is the lifetime where we’ve gotta get out and follow our dreams! Do what we want! All we’ve gotta do is believe. With this belief, we will happily and without worry, put in the work it will take to get these dreams. It’s all your mindset. If you want something and know you’re going to get it, you will. How? You’ll do what it takes AND you’ll be confident you want it. If you want something and are worried you won’t get it and think of all of the things that will happen if you don’t get it… well then you’re acting like a victim. And then you’ll become one. And then you will make excuses as to why you’re not doing the things you love. (cough…”I’m too sick.” “I’m too busy.” “I don’t have enough money yet” “yet” “yet” “yet”…)

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Do what you love and vibrate at the frequency that is what you love. You love art? Become the artist, in every single thing that you do. Find art in the table that you’re eating breakfast at, see art in the trees on your car ride to work. You want to become rich? Feel rich. Eat your breakfast, regardless of what it is, and thank the world for giving you the wealth and prosperity to be giving your body it’s fuel. Treat yourself like a king! A queen! Go to work and recognize the abundance you’re acquiring, not just in your wallet but also in your experiences. You don’t have to be unhappy at work just because it’s work. It’s always your choice. You always have a choice… and that is the beautifully terrifying thing about life. Let us choose to do what we want. Let us choose to be what we want, to fight for what we want and to love what we do. The power is in OUR HANDS! No more wishing you got your Hogwarts letter in the mail. It’s time to recognize that our life is already Hogwarts, already magical. We are the freakin’ Universe manifested into a body and a soul. We are warriors. Strong, courageous, CONFIDENT, proud and loving. That in itself is incredible… Now go out there and manifest your dreams!

 

Namaste my friends, happy dreaming.

Dear Divine Self Series- #4 What You Need to Know

Dear Divine Self,

You are eternal and invincible. You are a force to be reckoned with. Strong at heart and in body, situated still in the mind. My dear, today is not for improving. Today is for knowing. You are a shell amongst hundreds of rocks and rock amongst millions of sandstones and a crystal so clear and transcendent.

You are infectious with good vibrations, positive and loving. Your heart is wide and open, you needn’t doubt that. You heart is pure and loving. You are pure in all that you are. You are all there is and the infinite. You are you. Today, choose to remember all of your beautiful qualities. When negative thoughts come into your mind, do not become fixated on them, instead, fixate on the positive. Focus on the things that make you feel good. The feeling of the sheets on your skin, the taste of water when you are filled with thirst, the touch of another who walks by. Feel the good and feel the good inside. It is there. You are full of it.

 

Do not neglect your agitations, greet them. As an old friend used to say, “come my demons, let’s have some tea.” So lover, remember that in your perfection and in your purity, comes sadness and hardship. Remember that these things are still perfect, still wondrous, still infinite and still cosmic. That way, fixating on them is not even possible. That way, you feel the beauty within them. You feel the truth of the oxymoron, sweet sorrow. Painfully beautiful. You feel the romance within it. You feel the truth, the depth. The ocean of waves moving inside of you, taking you to stillness and sun, but also to crashes and danger. Your heartbeat will quicken, and at times your knees might shake. Divine Self, you may fear the tides ahead, or you may see clear skies. All of this is good. All of this is right. All of this is beautiful in every shape, sound and wave it comes crashing upon you as. And I promise you, when you accept the beauty in your pain, your pain transforms. Try it and see, I believe in you.

 

So in this I leave you with my love, Divine Self. I remind you to feel good about You, Yourself. I remind you to focus on how good it feels to sit, to stand, to breathe, to sing, to speak, to look. How good it feels to look at the sky, to feel the breeze, to hug another and feel their heartbeat. I remind you how good it feels to be alive. To feel fear, to feel rush, to feel sad. To be deep and open, vulnerable, fragile. How good it feels to receive and be taken care of. How good it feels to serve. How good it feels to persevere, to work hard in the face of hardship. To prosper when you feel like life is not on your side. To look in the mirror and to seek things you love, within the things you find uncomfortable. To grab ahold of your body and to speak to it the way you know you’ve always wanted to.

That’s what this life is about. Feeling the depths. Experiencing our humanity. Finding pleasure in our food, in our work, in our relationships, in our lives. Finding our desires and chasing after them without a second thought. Looking doubt straight in the eye and growing taller than it. Finding our passions and igniting their fire each and every single day.

 

Dear Divine Self, today and all days I remind you to LIVE. Wholeheartedly, unabashedly, and unashamedly. To be afraid, but to move forward anyways. To face fear with your heart, and to embrace it like an old friend, because love, fear always finds its way back to you. You can never change that, but you can change the way the mind thinks about it. So Live! Live and feel your power- divine and true. Capable of everything and more, and worthy of exploring it all. Searching and still joyful. Working and still present. You are you, and there is nothing more I could have ever asked for, love.  Today is for knowing. You are a shell amongst hundreds of rocks and rock amongst millions of sandstones and a crystal so clear and transcendent. You are perfect. You are Love, so know that. Remember it in all of those depths of your being; remember it in each layer, cell and atom. Know that you are shining, and stable. Know that you are as beautiful as each of the millions of stars in the sky. Know that your heart is open and loving, and give yourself permission to feel it that way. Give yourself permission to feel how good it feels to feel good.

Thank you Divine Self, for all that you do. It is time you recognize it all, too.

 

AFFIRMATIONS:

I choose to appreciate all that life offers me.

I am grateful for all of the experiences of my life for they have shaped me.

I practice gratitude each day through all of my experiences.

I am perfect just as I am.

I LOVE myself.

I treat myself with kindness, integrity and respect.

I explore my desires and opportunities with excitement.

I am passionate about my life.

I follow my dreams and I learn myself more through them.

I know myself very well.

Hardship in life is my best teacher.

I am unique.

I am connected to a higher power and love.

I have the power to create my reality.

My reality is created by my powerful thought.

I love my sensitivity and vulnerability.

Vulnerability is strength.

I stay true to myself through my expression.

My words are true and honest.

I accept and receive positive opportunities from the universe.

I deserve love in my life in all ways.

I am a powerful manifestor.

I LOVE myself.

Relationship Series: Sickness, Discomfort & The Bodies Voice

It’s challenging, it’s uncomfortable. When the body is physically uncomfortable, our social life, work life & personal life are affected. I tend to pretend like it isn’t happening to the degree that it is, and to continue on with every day life and I know I’m not the only one who does. Me personally? I experience digestive distress which means that in turn, I often experience symptoms such as: fatigue, lethargy, muscle fog, BRAIN fog, nausea, acid reflux, bloating, cramping, PMS- The list goes on and on. Others very close to me experience similar discomfort, and others experience prolonged pain from injury, accidents. Some are born with something that makes feeling at home in their body a little less happy. Whatever it is, the point is that sometimes our bodies have a hard time and aren’t functioning to their potential.

I want you to know that you ARE NOT alone! I mean think about it, we live in a very high stress society. We go to bed late and wake up early, grab food on the go and have a ton of deadlines. We’ve heard of the negative impacts stress has on our bodies and health! So inevitably, many of us aren’t feeling as great as we can be.

I’ve oftentimes been frustrated at my body for being in such uncomfortable states. I totally understand how embarrassing, sad, awkward and/or exhausting it can be. If you know what I mean, I feel for you, really.

However, the thing about ALL body discomfort is that instead of being frustrated with our bodies, we could be nourishing them.

It’s one thing to be upset about what’s going on, and to let it weigh you down, and it’s another to notice that your body is seriously communicating something to you. We all want a harmonious relationship with our bodies. We want to eat and to feel energized, to sleep and to feel rested, to feel happy and to truly feel healthy. When we don’t feel these things, it could feel like we are in opposition. In a war with ourselves. Stuck, trapped in a body that doesn’t work. Eating and experiencing discomfort, sleeping but rustling around all night, feeling sad and sluggish, tired.

Where does this play into relationships? Well, relationships take work. That’s something I will always be here to admit, and this also goes for the relationship we have with our bodies. It is up to us to notice our tendencies, patterns and habits, and to notice when our bodies are unhappy. It is up to us to treat our relationship to our body the way we treat our relationship to friends. If your body is upset, you listen. When our friends are trusting us with their hardship or vulnerability, we do not criticize them by telling them day in and day out that they aren’t working properly.

It is a constant struggle. To live in a body that seems like it isn’t on your side but we’ve all got to remember that our bodies are very much on our sides! They just need more care than we like to think they do. In our fast paced world, slowing down to give them the care they need can be a huge commitment. It’s important that we take the time to listen. A lot of the time, experiencing these physical symptoms physically forces us to slow down, just like a car accident on the way to work would. It is a sure sign from the universe. It might be connected to your racing mind, your racing body, or your incredible work ethic… but when life calls and our bodies need some healing, it’s important to acknowledge it, and to commit to them.

What does committing to a partner mean? We hear it through wedding vows. “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” How can we make these commitments to another before we’ve made them to ourselves? If your partner or loved one needed to change their lifestyle or eat a different way to feel better and be happier, you would most likely encourage them to do so because you care about them and want them to be happy. In turn, your relationship would definitely improve because better health = stronger happiness = more genuine connection = more passion = LOVE. Really, love is all it comes down to.

Similarly to my past post about relationships, it is time to communicate deeply with YOURself. Ask yourself some of these things and be honest with your answers! They are true indicators on where your healing path can go, and where it is already. Things like: Have you taken all of the steps you could to give your body love? Have you seen an alternative or holistic healing doctor about some of your symptoms? Have you shrugged symptoms under the rug because you don’t have the time or money? Have you given yourself love and respect through the foods you eat 80% of the time? Have you rested in times when you feel incredibly low, tired, sad? Have you allowed yourself to cry or have you blinked back your tears? Have you been incredibly irritable with others when feeling low, only to feel really guilty about it afterwards?

The first step to healing is always communicating lovingly to ourselves that we need it. Not only that, but that it is perfectly and naturally okay to be where we are. It is about accepting that maybe our bodies have been struggling to communicate with us and us with them, that we have spoken different languages but that we are now learning. By acknowledging these things are sending them our love, we can truly begin to make fundamental change in our lives! We can truly begin to FEEL as our highest potential. And heck yeah! We can begin to improve our relationships with ourselves, shining in self-love, only to realize all of our other relationships are now flourishing.

Try this exercise the next time you are feeling ill or upset. It is an awesome meditation that can help to really focus in on what the body is saying.

Close your eyes and tune in. Where do you feel this discomfort? Is it in your stomach? Hips? Back? Neck? Heart? Our body or mind will tend to want to retreat, to feel something else, or to label this discomfort as something. Let that go consciously. Assure yourself that you are safe. Visualize yourself, or tell yourself aloud that you are consciously about to communicate with your body. Let your body know and feel that you are about to listen and to speak by tuning into it and visualizing it/focusing on it listening. This is important to do. Just like our relationships, sitting down to have important talks is helpful. We ask our partners or friends if they have some time to chat. Ask yourself, ask your body. Tune into your emotional self, your energetic self, your intellectual self. Tune in!

In these moments, emotion might arise and that is okay. Let it. Assure yourself again that you are safe and sound and loved, and feel that love for yourself too! It’s totally okay to feel this discomfort you are feeling. Remember that. And now, silently or aloud, tell your body that you hear what it is saying. Feel the areas that need healing. There most definitely will be an emotional attachment in some of them. You can place your hands on areas that need some healing, to help you tune into them better. You can sit with these places and just feel them, for at least 10 minutes. Just feel them, trying not to label them, trying to be still, to in turn learn much more deeply about them. If it helps to lay down, lay down!

Ask your body what it needs in this space of discomfort. You might cry! If you do, that could mean that emotional release will help you heal this area. You might feel something in your throat, that could mean that you need to express this issue to someone. You might even get a strong intuition about what you need to do to heal, ie: see an Ayurvedic doctor, eat more leafy greens, sleep more, etc. You might feel agitated, restless, frustrated or anxious. That could mean that implementing truer relaxation in your life could help. This could be laying down meditation with music, candles, bath time, painting, whatever it is that truly relaxes the brain and mind. There are definitely times when I’ve meditated and my mind’s been racing like crazy- that is not true relaxation. If that is the case, lay down with a song that will help you just melt into it. Melt away into the floor. MELT. It actually does feel quite amazing.

This is exactly like improving a relationship with a significant other. You sit together and you talk about what’s really going on, how you really feel. You then can choose to do some things differently, together, as a team, because you want to carry on this wonderful relationship together! Your body deserves that same chance. Your body deserves your unconditional love, just as another does, just as your family does.

This could also go so differently than everything that I wrote and that is perfectly okay. This experience is unique to you because your body is unique to you. Take whatever you learn and feel and make a conscious commitment to your body, just as you would to your partner, that you are going to love it and allow it to heal. Marry yourself. Put on a dress and have a ceremony. Make this as concrete as you can so that you can really truly implement new habits and health into your life. Give your body the permission it needs to begin it’s process and then take the steps you need to to get there.

It’s a difficult journey to begin because it always means changing our habit and patterns, and that is some scary stuff. We don’t want to have to face that when we put on a tight shirt we sometimes feel really uncomfortable with our appearance and then in turn become more bloated or feel more bloated. (cough, hands up! that’s me, and that thought process is a bad habit of mine.) We don’t want to admit that maybe our late night eating habits are affecting our sleep or our mood. We don’t want to start meditating because our minds are busy or we don’t have time. We don’t want to go to bed earlier, or to drink more water. Let’s make a commitment that we will try these things. At least one at a time. That we will give our body a CHANCE to grow. That we will give our lives the option to flourish. That we will give our relationships the option of improving. That we won’t give up on our friends, loved ones, and family members, and therefore that we won’t give up on ourselves.

When timing strikes and you feel uncomfortable in an uncomfortable time, just let it be. You are not abnormal, you are just a human being being human. Everything will be okay. You’re healing already- every moment. As soon as you acknowledge that you are healing, you have begun that path.

I hope this was a help to you in any way and if it was, please let me know! Maybe we can relate to each other on this journey. Ask me any questions that arise and I will do my best to talk it out with you.

Namaste my friends, happy healing.