Relationship Series: Sickness, Discomfort & The Bodies Voice

It’s challenging, it’s uncomfortable. When the body is physically uncomfortable, our social life, work life & personal life are affected. I tend to pretend like it isn’t happening to the degree that it is, and to continue on with every day life and I know I’m not the only one who does. Me personally? I experience digestive distress which means that in turn, I often experience symptoms such as: fatigue, lethargy, muscle fog, BRAIN fog, nausea, acid reflux, bloating, cramping, PMS- The list goes on and on. Others very close to me experience similar discomfort, and others experience prolonged pain from injury, accidents. Some are born with something that makes feeling at home in their body a little less happy. Whatever it is, the point is that sometimes our bodies have a hard time and aren’t functioning to their potential.

I want you to know that you ARE NOT alone! I mean think about it, we live in a very high stress society. We go to bed late and wake up early, grab food on the go and have a ton of deadlines. We’ve heard of the negative impacts stress has on our bodies and health! So inevitably, many of us aren’t feeling as great as we can be.

I’ve oftentimes been frustrated at my body for being in such uncomfortable states. I totally understand how embarrassing, sad, awkward and/or exhausting it can be. If you know what I mean, I feel for you, really.

However, the thing about ALL body discomfort is that instead of being frustrated with our bodies, we could be nourishing them.

It’s one thing to be upset about what’s going on, and to let it weigh you down, and it’s another to notice that your body is seriously communicating something to you. We all want a harmonious relationship with our bodies. We want to eat and to feel energized, to sleep and to feel rested, to feel happy and to truly feel healthy. When we don’t feel these things, it could feel like we are in opposition. In a war with ourselves. Stuck, trapped in a body that doesn’t work. Eating and experiencing discomfort, sleeping but rustling around all night, feeling sad and sluggish, tired.

Where does this play into relationships? Well, relationships take work. That’s something I will always be here to admit, and this also goes for the relationship we have with our bodies. It is up to us to notice our tendencies, patterns and habits, and to notice when our bodies are unhappy. It is up to us to treat our relationship to our body the way we treat our relationship to friends. If your body is upset, you listen. When our friends are trusting us with their hardship or vulnerability, we do not criticize them by telling them day in and day out that they aren’t working properly.

It is a constant struggle. To live in a body that seems like it isn’t on your side but we’ve all got to remember that our bodies are very much on our sides! They just need more care than we like to think they do. In our fast paced world, slowing down to give them the care they need can be a huge commitment. It’s important that we take the time to listen. A lot of the time, experiencing these physical symptoms physically forces us to slow down, just like a car accident on the way to work would. It is a sure sign from the universe. It might be connected to your racing mind, your racing body, or your incredible work ethic… but when life calls and our bodies need some healing, it’s important to acknowledge it, and to commit to them.

What does committing to a partner mean? We hear it through wedding vows. “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” How can we make these commitments to another before we’ve made them to ourselves? If your partner or loved one needed to change their lifestyle or eat a different way to feel better and be happier, you would most likely encourage them to do so because you care about them and want them to be happy. In turn, your relationship would definitely improve because better health = stronger happiness = more genuine connection = more passion = LOVE. Really, love is all it comes down to.

Similarly to my past post about relationships, it is time to communicate deeply with YOURself. Ask yourself some of these things and be honest with your answers! They are true indicators on where your healing path can go, and where it is already. Things like: Have you taken all of the steps you could to give your body love? Have you seen an alternative or holistic healing doctor about some of your symptoms? Have you shrugged symptoms under the rug because you don’t have the time or money? Have you given yourself love and respect through the foods you eat 80% of the time? Have you rested in times when you feel incredibly low, tired, sad? Have you allowed yourself to cry or have you blinked back your tears? Have you been incredibly irritable with others when feeling low, only to feel really guilty about it afterwards?

The first step to healing is always communicating lovingly to ourselves that we need it. Not only that, but that it is perfectly and naturally okay to be where we are. It is about accepting that maybe our bodies have been struggling to communicate with us and us with them, that we have spoken different languages but that we are now learning. By acknowledging these things are sending them our love, we can truly begin to make fundamental change in our lives! We can truly begin to FEEL as our highest potential. And heck yeah! We can begin to improve our relationships with ourselves, shining in self-love, only to realize all of our other relationships are now flourishing.

Try this exercise the next time you are feeling ill or upset. It is an awesome meditation that can help to really focus in on what the body is saying.

Close your eyes and tune in. Where do you feel this discomfort? Is it in your stomach? Hips? Back? Neck? Heart? Our body or mind will tend to want to retreat, to feel something else, or to label this discomfort as something. Let that go consciously. Assure yourself that you are safe. Visualize yourself, or tell yourself aloud that you are consciously about to communicate with your body. Let your body know and feel that you are about to listen and to speak by tuning into it and visualizing it/focusing on it listening. This is important to do. Just like our relationships, sitting down to have important talks is helpful. We ask our partners or friends if they have some time to chat. Ask yourself, ask your body. Tune into your emotional self, your energetic self, your intellectual self. Tune in!

In these moments, emotion might arise and that is okay. Let it. Assure yourself again that you are safe and sound and loved, and feel that love for yourself too! It’s totally okay to feel this discomfort you are feeling. Remember that. And now, silently or aloud, tell your body that you hear what it is saying. Feel the areas that need healing. There most definitely will be an emotional attachment in some of them. You can place your hands on areas that need some healing, to help you tune into them better. You can sit with these places and just feel them, for at least 10 minutes. Just feel them, trying not to label them, trying to be still, to in turn learn much more deeply about them. If it helps to lay down, lay down!

Ask your body what it needs in this space of discomfort. You might cry! If you do, that could mean that emotional release will help you heal this area. You might feel something in your throat, that could mean that you need to express this issue to someone. You might even get a strong intuition about what you need to do to heal, ie: see an Ayurvedic doctor, eat more leafy greens, sleep more, etc. You might feel agitated, restless, frustrated or anxious. That could mean that implementing truer relaxation in your life could help. This could be laying down meditation with music, candles, bath time, painting, whatever it is that truly relaxes the brain and mind. There are definitely times when I’ve meditated and my mind’s been racing like crazy- that is not true relaxation. If that is the case, lay down with a song that will help you just melt into it. Melt away into the floor. MELT. It actually does feel quite amazing.

This is exactly like improving a relationship with a significant other. You sit together and you talk about what’s really going on, how you really feel. You then can choose to do some things differently, together, as a team, because you want to carry on this wonderful relationship together! Your body deserves that same chance. Your body deserves your unconditional love, just as another does, just as your family does.

This could also go so differently than everything that I wrote and that is perfectly okay. This experience is unique to you because your body is unique to you. Take whatever you learn and feel and make a conscious commitment to your body, just as you would to your partner, that you are going to love it and allow it to heal. Marry yourself. Put on a dress and have a ceremony. Make this as concrete as you can so that you can really truly implement new habits and health into your life. Give your body the permission it needs to begin it’s process and then take the steps you need to to get there.

It’s a difficult journey to begin because it always means changing our habit and patterns, and that is some scary stuff. We don’t want to have to face that when we put on a tight shirt we sometimes feel really uncomfortable with our appearance and then in turn become more bloated or feel more bloated. (cough, hands up! that’s me, and that thought process is a bad habit of mine.) We don’t want to admit that maybe our late night eating habits are affecting our sleep or our mood. We don’t want to start meditating because our minds are busy or we don’t have time. We don’t want to go to bed earlier, or to drink more water. Let’s make a commitment that we will try these things. At least one at a time. That we will give our body a CHANCE to grow. That we will give our lives the option to flourish. That we will give our relationships the option of improving. That we won’t give up on our friends, loved ones, and family members, and therefore that we won’t give up on ourselves.

When timing strikes and you feel uncomfortable in an uncomfortable time, just let it be. You are not abnormal, you are just a human being being human. Everything will be okay. You’re healing already- every moment. As soon as you acknowledge that you are healing, you have begun that path.

I hope this was a help to you in any way and if it was, please let me know! Maybe we can relate to each other on this journey. Ask me any questions that arise and I will do my best to talk it out with you.

Namaste my friends, happy healing.

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