Today marks the day of my birth, 21 years ago. I don’t feel older, or different… except that I know this feels like a new birth. It doesn’t feel like I have had 20 other of these days… in fact, it feels like this is my first year upon this Earth. I feel like I’m becoming Myself, for the first time. It is my solar return. I begin, allowing myself to truly visualize, accept and love where I am and what it is that fills my dreams. I feel like this is my first day on Earth, so I’m going to treat it as such, every day for the rest of my days here.
I woke up this morning with sun on my face. The most beautiful thing I can think of waking up to, right next to the love of my life. It reminded me to be grateful for each and every thing I encounter, no matter how big or small. It reminded me that sun pouring through a window can feel like the most loving hug as long as you let it. It showed me that the warmest soup in the morning can feel like medicine in every way, healing the mind and body- if you let it. I’ve been showered with wishes of a happy day, and promises of love in every smile, touch, embrace and gift. I have relaxed into my being, realizing that there’s no expectations of me to live by… Knowing that this will carry on with me, instead of fading away after the celebrations conclude. Why? My celebrations will not conclude. I am so happy to be here, to be living, to be free. I will chose to celebrate this life every single day. I will treat every day like the holiday it is. I will find the simple joys in all that I do. Ah, just thinking about it is so calming. I no longer have any reason to worry. My only concern is living, with love and with light. Living! Wow. Such simplicity I’ve come by. Living. Living. Living.
I have struggled. I have cried, even just yesterday, and I have been overwhelmed with the burdens i’ve given myself. I have been impatient and have made far too many assumptions of what others may be thinking, doing or feeling. I have put many unnecessary expectations onto others, and alongside, given myself unrealistic expectations as well. I have held grudges, and been unforgiving and detached in my approach with others. Today I allow myself to release all of it. I walked outside and I felt the air. It was crisp and fresh and warm, and breathing felt better than it ever has. It was revitalizing, cleansing my every pore and cell and washing away the things that I look at so negatively about myself, about the world. I release it all and I become anew. I release it all and I feel alive. I feel reborn and refreshed.
The world, it is ours. Every day can be a new day, and every day can be a fresh start. If I don’t want to be sad, I chose not to be. I chose to honour my sadness and discomfort, but I chose to then let it go after I’ve nurtured it. After I’ve realized it, and become conscious about it… that’s it. That’s all there is to it. When you realize these things about yourself they become conscious instead of unconscious. The only next thing you must realize is that you are completely and utterly in control of them.
My partner, Will, he always says this one thing to me. Every time I tell him, “I can’t do this, I’m not good at it,” he says: “You’re right.” Every time I say, “I’m financially unstable,” he says, “You’re right.” Every time I say, “I can’t digest my food properly,” he says, “You’re right.” It brings me back. It centres me back to reality and it reminds me that my thoughts are everything. My thoughts and perspectives shape my reality in every way possible. If I believe I am struggling, then I will struggle.
Today my intention is simple. Today, I will relax into my being and I will love my being. Today I will be grateful for each and every single thing within my reality. I am so blessed. I am honoured and blessed to be living the life I am living. I am exactly where I want to be and where I need to be.
I know that if you don’t already realize this, that one day you will. Keep learning yourself, keep exploring yourself, and keep remaining compassionate and patient with yourself. You will feel the depths of relaxation and love that I know I now feel. I promise. I am in heaven. It is euphoric. My heart? Oh boy, it’s wide open.
I am new to this Earth. I am completely reborn. Today, on my birthday, I release all of this darkness away and I begin again. Fresh and clean, like a child. I will do this every day.
Namaste my friends, happy blessings.